Understanding Why I am Often Misunderstood
I was just meditating on being over-critical the other night (see the Critical Thinker post) and as soon as I opened my book today, the Creator led me to read exactly how I can avoid being that way.
Your job is not to judge. Your job is not to figure out if someone deserves something, or to decide who is right or who is wrong. Your job is to lift the fallen, to restore the broken, and to heal the hurting.
Lord knows, I am striving to be this way but I will not be able to do this on my own. I have to pray daily about changing my thoughts so that my actions may reflect my heart. My heart is loving and understanding. However, my tongue is callous and disparaging. I don't want to be viewed as a heartless woman who doesn't care about the feelings of others. I don't want people to feel threatened by the underlying tone of my words. As unintentional as my tactlessness may be, I cannot make excuses for it. I must change.
I am intelligent enough to articulate myself in much more respectful ways. I read all day and I write when I'm not reading, so there is no reason why I shouldn't be able to fill my sentences with more geniality, prudence, and eloquence when addressing others.
Unfortunately for me, my impudently pretentious tone is a double-edged sword. Once my sharp words cut through a person, the person stops listening and misses my entire message. They become angry with me, while I am equally angered by them, for not comprehending my point. If I do not find a better way to say what I mean, I will forever live- feeling misunderstood.
I have always had the issue of being misjudging because I don't give people the chance to figure me out. This is primarily the result of my propensity to make things more complicated with my bad attitude and candidness. Instead of trying to figure me out, they tune me out; leaving me to feel alone and unworthy. I have always, always blamed everyone else but in this very moment I realize that it was always me who pushed everyone away.
I am so grateful for this moment of divine awareness of the error of my own ways. I pray that I continue grow into a more benevolent woman, who is conscious of the affect that her words have on the hearts of others. After all, to lift the fallen, restore the broken, and heal the hurting is my job!