Took a day trip to NYC to spend time with my mom. When I was on the bus, I looked up and saw the geese flying in a perfect shaped V. I couldn't get a picture of it but the memory of that, on such a special day, will forever be etched into my brain.
I took it as a blessing from Above.
V - not just the first initial of me and my mom's first names but also the Roman numeral for 5.
Today was a big day for my mom and I was happy to be there for her. Today marks her 5th year of recovery. She told me, Some people take one day at a time. Well I have to take one second, one minute, one hour.. It's a fight but I am strong.
Yes, you are strong! I am inspired by your determination Lady.
I got her this white gold Roman numeral 5 (which can also be seen as a V) just to make her smile and comemerate her success. It's actually the first really valuable gift I have ever given her. It felt so good to put it around her neck, as her face lit up with joy! She said that she had been wanting to get some white gold for a long time now. I guess I read her mind!
We had a nice brunch and she told me all about her plans to go back to school to get her associates degree. She wants to become a certified rehab counselor. She's even sponsoring one of her friends who is coming up on one year of recovery.
I'm so PROUD of you lady. 5 years down, a lifetime to go! You can do it. I'm supporting you, all the way.
Initially, I posted the following emotional-vent in the raw on instagram.. But I've decided to put it here as well.. I was going to delete the post but after all of the texts and calls from my closest friends (who have known me since I was young) urging me to keep it up because of the power behind the message, I decided to keep it up and add it to this blog post. This is so very personal to me and my mother as well. If nothing else, I hope it helps someone overcome the demons of their past and learn to love and embrace the blessings of the present.
I probably won't keep this post up for long. But as I sit here crying about how far my mother and I have come ..and how proud I am of her for living to see 5 years of recovery from her addiction today, something deep inside of me feels like there is someone else who is going through exactly what I went through (still going through sometimes) and needs to hear my testimony. I just want you, who ever you are, to realize the power of FORGIVENESS. you can never get the years back that someone wasn't there for you.. You can never turn back the hands of time.. Everything that the Creator allowed to happen to you, was for your strength, for your personal growth, and for your wisdom. Let go! Let your wounds be healed. Find the beauty in your pain and realize that it's over, you will never have to relive those moments again. So make each one that you have now better and better. My mom did some foul things to me ..but I had to forgive her and I had to take the time to look into her heart. At first, I didn't want to forgive her because I wanted her to feel my pain.. I'm just being honest. The things I did today would not have happened 5 years ago. Maybe not even last year!! But I realized that letting go and forgiving her was not just about her, it was about ME! My health! My sanity! My happiness! I am healed. Even though I am crying right now, I feel great! Despite everything that ever happened, I wouldn't be even a smidgen of the woman I am today if it wasn't for her. I'm grateful for her. I love her and I just thank God for giving me peace through forgiving her.