Space Time & Friendship

(Reposted from Feb. 12, 2014)


Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. 
There is a time for silence. 
A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. 
And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over. 

-Octavia Bulter 

***
Take five minutes to meditate on the quote above, written by multiple award winning Science Fiction author, Octavia Butler.

As I reflect, I think it's all about being selfless and realizing that sometimes your friends need you in different ways. Sometimes they need space --the space to spread their creative wings, the space to figure out the answers to their problems on their own, or the space to just be alone... 

On the other hand, sometimes those same friends need to spend time with you, want your opinions on things, and just need a word of comfort ...

--- all in all, no matter what they need in the moment, you should always be there to support when all is said and done. 

Sometimes we get angry at how a friend moves.. We put too much emphasis on what bothered us, instead of gauging the dual perspective to figure out the reason why...

Have you ever fell back from someone that was doing things you disagreed with instead of simply asking them, what's going on with you? Or worse, have you ever gotten upset with a friend because she/he didn't come to you for help or inform you of a current situation because they wanted to find a solution to their issue independently? Honestly speaking, I have done that in the past but I had to remember this piece of advice that someone once told me: Do not become selfish and make everything about you! 

Read the Bulter quote again, this time read it as if you were one of your friends. Now think about it, don't you want your friends to give you the space you need to just be when you want or need to be?
...exactly. You know you answered YES to that!!! 

So, as you meditate tonight, remember that the first step of mastering the art of timing in friendship, is through mastering the art of selflessness, understanding, and patience. 

love love, 
V

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