Don't Expect Flowers on the First Date


Last night I had an amazing time with a new friend.. 

While roaming around NYC, we passed a quaint fresh floral shop that had tulips, roses, gerberas, and lilies that looked like The Creator hand picked himself.. I just knew this guy would get me a bouquet of tulips because those are my favorites... I mean, he had just asked me which flowers were my favorites earlier in the evening.. so of course, now that we stumbled upon them, he should get them for me right? Well, he didn't ..and I'll admit, I was disappointed in him for not being as cliche as I wanted him to be... I thought, "This isn't going to go much farther than tonight. I can already tell that this isn't going to work! This guy can't even maximize on the opportunity to make me smile by doing something as simple as getting these flowers that he knows I like!" ...but y'all know, I'm a lady, so I didn't say anything. I just smiled and continued to go with the flow. 

We continued wandering around the city when we decided to stop at a fruit market. 

"Hey, don't you like Martinelli's Apple Juice?", he asked, as he grabbed a big $8 bottle of it and walked to the register. 

"Yes!!! That's my favorite!" 

Have you ever felt happy and DUMB at the same time? Well that's exactly how I felt. I had no idea he knew that I loved Martinelli's! I was instantly excited and very impressed that he clearly did his research. Now that I think of it, getting me the juice was smarter than the flowers because there's no way a bouquet of tulips would've lasted from last night all the way until I got back to Baltimore today. Very thoughtful and well played sir. 

As I reflect on this moment, I learned one very important thing. Do not get upset or pre-judge a person off of something that you expect them to do.. First of all, that's not fair to them.. No one can read your mind! Also,because you never know what they have had in mind for you all along. 

Often times, women can be very ungrateful and aggressively pushy. This inevitably pushes men away. In my experience, those traits combined are a man's number one turn off!

I'm glad I was reticent and conciliatory last night... But in the past, I mean like in my younger days... Oh honey, I would've been a spoiled brat and made him buy me those flowers! It would've been a waste of his hard earned money and even worse, it would've made me look very tacky. 

Thank God for growth! 

-V

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