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Showing posts from January, 2015

Full Moon Poem No. 1

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A lack of confidence is detrimental Inferior complex  Internal-conflicts Intimidated by the success  of ya' own sistah Sistahs  Daughtahs  Baby girls  I just want my girls to Blossom into better women than those of my generation I want them to know  You don't have to compete with your sistahs Never compare your success to hers' After all, All stars shine at the same time There's no dim to your glow There's no hiding your shimmer  There's no way we can fall  If we stand together 
Sistahs Gravity has no affect on us  Never will  Can't come down  For no one  Snow shimmers in the darkest nights 
because of the radiance of our combined light Not  Yellow  Silver  Gold  But  Black  Black stars and not the ones on BET.  Not the VH1 girls Not the Internet celebrities  Those are not real stars because they soon will fade  A star's light will never lose its luster  Star light is eternal 
Our Light is eternal Infinite  Unbreakable 


NP: The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill

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My world it moves so fast today
The past it seems so far away And life squeezes so tight that I can't breathe And every time I've tried to be What someone else thought of me So caught up, I wasn't able to achieve
But deep in my heart
The answer it was in me And I made up my mind To define my own destiny 
I look at my environment
And wonder where the fire went What happened to everything we used to be I hear so many cry for help Searching outside of themselves Now I know that His strength is within me
And deep in my heart
the answer it was in me And I made up my mind to define my own destiny And deep in my heart the answer it was in me And I made up my mind to define my own destiny



The Wisdom of Insecurity

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"Tomorrow and plans for tomorrow can have no significance at all unless you are in full contact with the reality of the present, since it is in the present and only in the present that you live." 
"But you cannot understand life and its mysteries as long as you try to grasp it. Indeed, you cannot grasp it, just as you cannot walk off with a river in a bucket. If you try to capture running water in a bucket, it is clear that you do not understand it and that you will always be disappointed, for in the bucket the water does not run. To “have” running water you must let go of it and let it run."
"It is in vain that we can predict and control the course of events in the future, unless we know how to live in the present. It is in vain that doctors prolong life if we spend the extra time being anxious to live still longer. It is in vain that engineers devise faster and easier means of travel if the new sights that we see are merely sorted and understood in terms of ol…

Teaching Black Stuff

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Im supposed to be getting ready for the coat drive but I'm sitting in Bae's window, facing the icy George Washington Bridge, reading and gathering notes for my critical stance paper. It's due tonight by midnight. I was secretly hoping that the snow would postpone the coat drive. I've become a bit obsessed with reading and writing this paper, to the point where it's all I want to do, until I have it perfected. But the Universe didn't see it fit for the drive to be cancelled. And I can't say I'm upset. According to the Coalitionforthehomeless.org, "Levels of homelessness reached to more than 53,000 New Yorkers and 22,000 children", last year alone. The city needs these coats. The city needs to know that we care. 
Poverty is really at an all time high in so many facets of life right now. Educational poverty has been my main concern as of late. So much of the readings that I have completed with my research fellowship have been based on the poverty …

Personal Letter No. 3

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Nothing will keep  us young you know 
not young men or 
women who spin 
their youth on 
cool playing sounds. 
we are what we 
are what we never 
think we are. 
no more wild geo 
graphies of the 
flesh. echoes. that 
we move in tune 
to slower smells. 
it is a hard thing 
to admit that 
sometimes after midnight 
i am tired 
of it all.
Sonia Sanchez

Un-Intended Audience

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I will tell anyone who reads my writing, thank you - but it's important to me, that you remember my purpose: This is my therapy. My own form of self-healing. This is not my way of getting rich quick or gaining popularity. It is my way of processing things. This is my way of recalling my heart's cries and identifying the roots of my despair. This is my way of celebrating my accomplishments, big or small. This is my way of praising and listing things that I am humbled by and grateful for. This is my way of meditating, in front of readers who may need the same direction as I. This is my place of rhetoric on topics that cloud my mind. This is my garden, I welcome nothing but growth. 
I am writing this vent as a reminder to myself and my readers. Everyone needs a vice. I don't drink to wash my depression away, I write. I kept this reflective practice to myself for a while but when you are a child of the Most High, you learn that your gifts are not just for you. You learn that yo…

Gratitude

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I took this right before I went to work. It's funny because I wouldn't have even taken it if it weren't for Bae .. This morning, he sent me a pick of the clouds from his window and it made me look out mine. They were grey and dreary but by the time I walked outside to get in the car for school, they were painted.
Today was an amazing day. 
I'm grateful for the eagerness of my students. They loved the fact that I gave them an outline of this week's homework assignments. I just love that they love it. 
I'm grateful for meeting with my professor. She introduced me to some really amazing women this afternoon. And my documentary proposal was approved! 
I'm grateful for meeting my new mentor. She's soooo dope (for a lack of better terms). I'm so blessed to be guided by her. 
I'm grateful for the smile that I just had from my last text message from Bae. I love that man. This is what I prayed for!


I'm grateful for my peace of mind. I'm grateful for my…

Purpose Driven Posts

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I go into hibernation on social networks for three reasons: I'm either on a spiritual social-network fast, depressed and don't want to be bothered, or flustered with work on top of more work. During the past few months, I have experienced a bit of all three of those, to be honest. I've had terrible writer's block and only seem to be creatively inclined to write when I'm developing a graduate school paper. 
Strangely enough, yesterday, I  received a surprising amount of dm's and emails from many young, black, future educators after I posted an empiracle-based critical pedagogy article on Instagram. Who knew what I perceived as uninteresting to my followers would actually excite and motivate them? But you know what's crazy? Well, I kind of felt bad as I responded to each young lady. In my heart, I know it's my due diligence to be a teacher leader not just in my classroom but in the world. Call me over-ambitious if you want but what can I say? I know my pur…

A Critical Reflection on: Gangstas, Wankstas, & Ridas

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"The "ridas" believe that students, specifically low-income children of color, are the group most likely to change the world."

A Critical Reflection on Fighting for Our Lives: Preparing Teachers to Teach African American Students

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"The ideology of White supremacy argued that African Americans were genetically inferior and not fully human. Thus, the expectations for educating them was (and continues to be) low."  Gloria Ladson-Billings

This is why we need to educate ourselves. Stop waiting on other people. 


Martinelli's Break

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Every weekend this is me: we get assigned about 6 required readings a week and 6 optional readings (but we all know that optional really means required if you want an A) I spend Thursday night until Sunday morning reading/ annotating/ reflecting/ submitting/ resubmitting and preparing to debate with my classmates about everything I've read when I get to class on Sunday and Tuesday nights. My friends never see me. I never go anywhere on the weekends unless it's community service for blossoms.. Thank God for Bae. He's always making me some tea and scratching my scalp and straightening up around here in order to help me get through some of the tougher reads. It's so much. But I'm almost done now and will have my research published very soon. These Saturday late night work nights will pay off... To be honest, I'm actually enjoying this stuff. Compiling the words of Lave and Wenger and bell hooks and Vygotsky and Postman and Baldwin and Fullen and the list goes on .…

Me Time

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Was supposed to go to New York this weekend. Change of plans. Thank goodness. First of all - I'm broke! Secondly, I have a thesis paper due and part one of my documentary due Tuesday. My curriculum map is due Wednesday. I was going to try to work all night tonight and go to New York tomorrow then work Sunday and Monday, after community service. Nooooo time for myself was going to be had. I can't thank the Universe enough for this change of plans. 
I watched the sunrays make my room's walls change colors. Meditated on my week. Listened to D'Angelou's Really Love on repeat - probably about 48 times ... Wrote in my journal ..and now I'm just reading ... readdddinnnggg for pleasure. Ugh I miss this ! 
Grateful.

The Words of Mrs. King

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"Maybe I shouldn’t say this, because I don’t know it, it’s just a feeling I have… but few black men seem to feel secure enough as men that they can make women feel like women. It was such a good feeling that Martin gave me, since the first time I met him. He was such a strong man that I felt like a woman, I could be a women, and let him be a man. Yet he too was affected by the system, as a black man; in spite of everything he always came through as a man, a person of dignity. … I miss this now, very much. Since my husband’s death I’ve had to struggle on alone, and I can appreciate now, more than ever, how important it is to have somebody to share things with, to have someone who cares, someone who is concerned."  - Coretta Scott King  Happy Birthday Dr. King
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The words that resonated most with me were, "He was such a strong man that I felt like a woman, I could be a woman, and let him be a man." It's funny because in the same way that she says that men aren'…

I Just Love This ❤️

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Happy Birthday Dr. King! 

Dear Professor Life

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4:18 AM
Got slammed with another major financial burden today. So unexpected. But I couldn't let it stress me. I literally told myself: Problems come and go. Handle things with grace. I've been repeating those 4 words over and over to myself.
Been up since 2:30. Only had a few hours of sleep. So much on my mind. I got up and started trying to knock a few things out, until my MacBook died. So now, I'm just laying here, in my thoughts. 
Being still. 
It's these dark and quiet moments, when my thoughts and issues and duties begin feeling like they may overcome me, that I usually fall into an anxiety attack or depression... but not this time. This time, I'm learning to be still. I can't stress things. No literally, I just can't. I am too busy putting my mental energy into practicing the skill of believing that everything will work together for the greater good of me. In other words, I'm not stressing the frivolous nonsense, I'm refocusing my thoughts on the…

8:34 AM

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NP: Kanye West, Drive Slow
Take a deep breath. Hold it for 5.. 4.. 3... 2... 1... Let it out. Ahhhh.. That's it. Just breathe. 
Okay, so I'm totally feeling like this song is the theme to my life in this very moment. You need to pump your breaks and drive slow homie. It was 7:23. I rushed into the black Uber cab that waited outside of my house. He took me to the BP gas station to grab some cash for the Bolt Bus. As soon as he pulled up to Maryland Ave., the big orange bus was already there. I waited on the line behind a pretty and petite, caramel skinned, young lady with jet black locks and a silver hoop nose ring. She had long, full lashes that reminded me of the tamed camels that I rode in Egypt. She was beautiful. And looked a little familiar. I mean, I even thought I recognized her voice. She spoke with a thick New York accent, carrying a feminine rasp in her tone that gave her a rough boyish-like appeal. She reminded me of Jada Pinkett in "A Different World". 
"…