The Words of Mrs. King

"Maybe I shouldn’t say this, because I don’t know it, it’s just a feeling I have… but few black men seem to feel secure enough as men that they can make women feel like women. It was such a good feeling that Martin gave me, since the first time I met him. He was such a strong man that I felt like a woman, I could be a women, and let him be a man. Yet he too was affected by the system, as a black man; in spite of everything he always came through as a man, a person of dignity. … I miss this now, very much. Since my husband’s death I’ve had to struggle on alone, and I can appreciate now, more than ever, how important it is to have somebody to share things with, to have someone who cares, someone who is concerned." 
- Coretta Scott King 
Happy Birthday Dr. King


The words that resonated most with me were, "He was such a strong man that I felt like a woman, I could be a woman, and let him be a man." It's funny because in the same way that she says that men aren't secure enough to make a woman feel like a woman, many men could say the same about us. So many women don't know how to let a man be a man because we haven't learned how. The reality is, we just haven't been exposed to authentic examples of such ...personally, I am still learning. I'm super independent and used to running things but I'm learning how to let my king be just that, a king. Letting him take the lead is an awkward feeling sometimes - not going to lie. It's really a learning process but he makes it less of a struggle for me because of the fact that he is a real man. 

According to Dr. King, "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge." I consider my king a man because he stands strong in the face of adversity. No matter if it's personal, financial, or relational, he consistently handles challenges with grace. I learn so much about how to stay level headed when I'm stressed because he leads by example. This, essentially, makes me a better woman. 

But I have so many wonders about this subject in itself. How do we help more men become real men? And how do we teach women to let men be men? What is the root of this issue and how do we keep it from perpetuating? 

I asked a few of my friends and the responses were equally profound... debateable even ... be continued ...