Efflorescent Memoirs

Wednesday ... NP: Robin Thicke - Wish I Could Change
When I woke up from what felt like an infinite darkness, I decided to finally turn my phone on. I was successful in my attempt to mute the world for over a week. 
I was just checking to see if my grandad called me - he didn't ..but my brother did. "Just come down here. Get away from everything. We think that's best." I thought for a moment but there was nothing to think about. What was I leaving behind? So I packed a bag, jumped in the Beamer, and headed to BWI. 
As I waited for my flight, I thought about the last time I traveled to Cali. So many things were causing me to feel defeated and I was tired of fighting. I had to get out of New York and just like this time, my brother told me to come out West. I looked through the notes in my phone, which date back to over 3 years ago, and stumbled upon some old journal entries from my last trip to LA at the end of Summer 2013 ......
Day 1 - August 13, 2013
So I wake up around …

This pain is so heavy  Finding comfort in fantasizing  Dreams of death Smiling Visualizing  Soaring from the George Washington Bridge  Significant landmark of our first kiss  Beautifully drowning  Submerged sorrow Cleansing my spirit 
I rise with the morning dew Blue dreams of bliss  Liberated No longer haunted by demons in nightmares  Unfettered from the torment of  My ruptured heart Every single memory of my life on Earth is erased as  The Spirit welcomes me  with open arms into the  Gates of my Heaven An endless garden  Flowers flowers flowers flowers flowers  Wild plum tulips  Terra cotta roses  Statuesque Sunflowers Light foliage green grass Vivid colors Run lay read pray  Laughter from the soul  Pianos in the morning  Pianos in the night 

Feb. 14th, 2014 
1:10 PM 
Fall in love ....fall so hard you'll need oxygen ...don't worry about your heart just let it all in.. Deep. Go deeper baby.. as deep as you can .. Don't worry about your heart trust me it's worth the ride ...worth your time.. You'll have the time of your life...  Make love always .. With everyone you know. Not in the sexual sense .. I mean in the vibe. Smile together.. Laugh at your flaws. say no when you want to.. and yell, hell no! ..just because. Conscious ..trust your own instinct --intuition is your best friend. Trust your gut ..even if you're junk-fit. The answers are within you. God planted them in the depths of your soul. Ocean deep, that's how deep his love goes for you. From Paris to Egypt and back again. I love all my sistahs.. American girl - black American urban nonfiction section. NY Times statistic. 1986 when they released crack to the thriving Blacks of Harlem. Mothers lawyers doctors teachers all became addicted to t…

I found these in my journal. I wrote them on January 30, 2012. Over 3 years ago.  Hold a person to high expectations ..they will only give u what u allow.. don't accept cop outs .. "I'm used to this.." or "I can't help it.." .. it's bull .. keep your standards high and hold people to them. 
And another thing ... 
Don't confuse obligation with commitment... If a person feels obligated to do something they are being forced ... Obligated is because u have to.. Commitment is from the heart.

Last night my friend Chris Mules was over and we were talking about books. Baldwin's name came up and I asked him if he ever read, "A Letter to Teachers"... He said no but went on to tell me about "The Fire Next Time". 
"I read it about a year ago, so it's obviously not entirely fresh. But I remember how I felt when I read it; the ending was exhilarating and, ultimately very beautiful. I find myself constantly coming back to this quote "Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. I use the word "love" here not merely in the personal sense but as a state of being, or a state of grace - not in the infantile American sense of being made happy but in the tough and universal sense of quest and daring and growth."
This morning, I found the book on my desk. He snuck in while I was outside of my classroom and left it there for me to borrow! I'm so excited! I'll be writing a reflection s…

Let's put a spin on Black History Month by calling it Black Book-Story Month! I wanted to share my love for literature by sharing one book, each day this month, that has had an impact on Black culture in America. 
Basically, you choose a book that resonated with you - one that you truly believe that every person should read, no matter what race or ethnicity, and write a reflection on it. I will feature your writing on Valencia's Garden!
There's no deadline - you have all month. You also have total autonomy over the book you choose, as long as it relates to Black culture in some sort of way. 
The only rule about your reflection is that it must make the readers think critically! Be as honest and reflective as you can! Go deep! On Feb. 28th, we'll all come together for a "Meeting of the Minds" soirée - tea, wine, debatable talk, and laughter - at my house! I hope you'll join me in this endeavor to expand our minds and celebrate our culture! 
We all know that a g…