The Art of Growing in Purposeful Silence

.....You are not alone. You are loved. Stop crying, trust God. You cannot control anyone and you shouldn't even try to. Whomever was removed from your life is not a mistake. Rejoice because you are so much closer to the level that you were created to reach. Patience is a virtue that only the chosen possess. You, my dear, are chosen. 

We climbed down from the sail boat to get in the canoe. They gave us the option to jump into the water and swim to the shore but I knew we would be flying out a few hours later and I didn't want to have a head full of wet, heavy braids on the plane.  "What... Why.. Why you wear that jewel? On your head...What it mean?" He stuttered a bit as he tried his best to use correct American-English to speak.  "It's a tikka..." Shelly responded before I could begin to answer. I was looking at his arms. His muscles bulged through his caramelized skin as he steered.  "Tee-kaah...", he pronounced the word as carefully as he could in his indigenous Fijian accent.  "It's like royalty. I wear it because I am a queen. We're all queens." I motioned my hands to show that I was including the girls in my declaration.  "Queens! And you are the Queen of Queens!" He laughed, letting his gold tooth shimmer from the refle

Day 6 in the Down Under  Yes! Yes! Yes! We did it! We found some vintage shops in Melbourne !! Eeeek!  I don't have time to go in details right now because we're about to take off again but here are a few pics! More details to come, Xo

I noticed Shelly was crying and although she told me to keep going without her, I had to stay. I held her in arms and she started .... To be continued 

Day 5 It's 9:21 AM, just landed in Melbourne. The flight was about an hour long. We caught a cab to the Wyndham.  "Good morning sistahs!" The silk spun, salt and pepper haired driver greeted us in his strong Australian accent. I put my headphones back on as I sat on the grey leather seat of his 10 passager van. I got right into my zone, bopping my head to Jeezy, writing my post about the "Black Lives Matter" graffiti I saw on the board of Bondi beach yesterday. It's been a task to sit down and type my memoirs since we got here. My journal and my Nikon have been getting much more love than my iphone.  I kept writing and vibing to the beat of "Perfection" while the girls laughed with the taxi driver. I wondered what they were talking about but I wanted to stay focused. I tried to concentrate but Shelly's face became a bit dismayed and I needed to know what was going on....  "My son was born her

NP: Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong  Dream a Little Dream of Me  Day 4 March 14, 5:23 AM  I'm on my second cup of lemon-ginger tea, soaking in this steamy bath. Ella is effortlessly hitting every note.  I woke up at 4:30 on the dot this morning, had such a great night's rest. Last night was the same. I haven't slept this comfortably in months. Being able to sleep through the night is something that one is only most grateful for after having months of insomniac nights. Weeks would go by where I was falling asleep at 2 and waking up at 3... Who can survive on 1 hour of sleep? Well, I did ...but hopefully I never have to go back to that after this trip.  Yesterday was quite a catastrophe. But the entire thing was hilarious. We had the worst tour everrrr!! It was a mix between the foggy weather and the passive aggressively rude tour guide that ruined it and we came to find out (after getting back to the hotel and calling to complain) that we were

"Fine light in the beautiful sea, I chose to be happy..." I had just enough time to take a quick shower, throw on my 3 year old Forever 21 denim bathing suit, and put some Hicks Edge Control on my baby hairs. We ran 3 blocks from the Amora to the ferry at Circular Quay. By the time we climbed on deck, I was out of breath - not sure if it was because of my respiratory system or because of the view. The iconic Opera House, the hanger designed Harbour Bridge, the aquamarine glass high risers - it all had me stuck in awe for a moment. The feeling reminded me of how my heart jumped when we first arrived in Egypt and sailed in a private boat along the Nile. As the dark blue waves rippled under the sun, the reality of how beautiful life is began setting in. I was up too high to see my reflection in the river but it was there, whether it was visible or not, a part of me was there and is always going to remain, just as it abides in places as far as the Indian Ocean and

"When you give God complete control, it's very hard not to be fearless." Rihanna  Monday, March 9th, 2015 11:31 PM (West Coast Time) NP: We Good - Fabolous f. Rich Homie Quan It was literally 1 month ago today that I walked into Hopkins, in seek of help. I wasn't sure of what would happen or what they would do to me but I had to swallow the lump in my throat and surrender myself. I was most terrified at the idea that I may have been bipolar, like my mother. I lost track of time while laying on that hospital bed, starring at the lemon yellow walls, with no phone or watch. They take everything from you when you admit yourself, even if you tell the nurses, "I'm not going to hurt myself, I just want to get help. I just want to find out what's wrong with me." But they were sweet, I told them that I was completing a PHD level course at UMBC and really just wanted my books, if I couldn't have anything else, I need my books and my journ

Sunday, March 8, 2015 10:39 PM NP: Trust in Me - Etta James  Beautiful memories. They make me teary-eyed but I've grown so much stronger over the last month.. The tears don't fall. They just make things blurry, literally and figuratively.  "While there's a moon on high, while there are birds to fly.. While there is you ..you and I .. I can be sure that I love you. Stand beside me all the while .." I leaned back, with my arms still around his neck, admiring the tint of his eyes. I could barely see as the only light in the room came from the candles but I didn't need to see to sing, "Come on daddy, face the future .. Why don't you smile ... Trust in me ...and I'll be worthy of you... Trust in me in all you do.. And have the faith in me that I have in you.. And love will see us through....."  He created a trail of kisses that started on my forehead and ended on my neck. His lips triggered a chrysalis effect as every butter