Whitney's Song

straight from the bricks
black
queen
beautiful
gifted
humble
star
black gold
charismatic
every woman
mama sang

real
strong
not
stronger
than
your daddy
had one of those
die hard crazy wild fun free
as two birds in the wild
wild horses
untamable
destroy anything in the way
kind of lovers love
make everyone want
turned on
turned out
face to glass
ostrich wings
face to glass
mind of wings
you were born
midst of a mess
but you were their best
best
best girl
best friend
girl baby
brown
brown eyed
round
plump
fat cheeks
gapped teeth
daughter of pop
granddaughter of sissy
goddaughter of cece
fame
fortune
mama sang
if i lose my fame and fortune in the street
its okay if you’re with me

stage lights
every night
held in arms of mama
mansions of mama
mama knows
you need her
she needs you more
after all my strength is gone
mama sang
in you i can be strong

sometimes strength isn’t enough
enough is never enough
satisfied only when it feels like a dream
lucid escapes
cant sleep sleepless awake always awake
nightmares
reality
became synonymous
wars
mama vs. daddy
mama vs. mama
mama vs. society
the world
against
her
her against her
depression
demons
conflicting purpose
lost identity
lost life
if i should die
mama sang
don’t cry
cause on earth we weren’t meant to stay

so nobody cried
salt water dripped from the corners of your blank eyes
but
each tear froze
and you were numbed
instead of freed
no prayers
no saviors
no bibles on
night stands
religious addictions
empty pill bottles
briefly make it alright
but temporarily only last for a night
morning brings
memories and
burdens and
they push and hold hold hold
compressions
and confessions
and no stories untold
no questions left unanswered because you seen it all and you felt it all and you’ve tried it all and you gave your all and you
you so
heavyhearted and vulnerable
and pressured 
pressure to be her
to not be her
to be
to be
to be
forced
into a permanently magnified light
that burns like hell
so much
too much
force
abuse
self-inflicted mindless nerves
mentally drained
emotionally numb
physically weak
but brown girl you are
strong for her
stronger than her
but lost without her
because what good is strength
without having a weight to carry
anymore
no more
lights
all
darkness endless nights
no more
stages
spotlight switch flipped
mama sang
your love is my love
my love is your love

clap your haaands
applaud
appalling
gossip
trash mags and blogs
and tyler perry
crack is wack
screaming
bobbaaayyy!
and you want to sing like
you
not her
nobody believed in you
but her
laughter heckles and taunts
never ending
hateful words
drowned by the great white hope
white out
this way out
the only way out
is a
it’s a
lie
rumors
truths
lies
pain
utterly disappointed
by the face that looks back
so you don’t look back
when you pick your head up from
powdered glass tables
they made you feel ugly
public displays of violence
municipally trying to find yourself
sensationally losing a battle that was lost before you
cut your soul off and became
her
you
tried to break free
break her
habits
they
became your habits
but it would take an eternity to break us
mama sang

expectations
no means to an end
where was the beginning
who’s fault
its not right
but its okay
mama sang
its okay if you’re coming with me

daddy’s
smile
mama’s
legacy
cant run
from myself
mama sang
there’s no where to hide

slipping
drowning
flying
drowning
free
as i lay me
mama sang
heaven hear me

same water
different tub
same water
different drug
same water
different night
same water
same plight
same fight
same fate
no matter what the people say
mama sang
i’ll be waiting for you
after the judgment day






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