Moulting

Just so you know
This ain't about you
At first
I thought it was
I couldn't get you out of my head
Seeing your pretty ass sitting on that bed
Taunting me 
Looking down at my legs and seeing the meat I don't have 
Close my eyes and there's your fingers over that cheap faux fur
Blonde tips and full lips
Looking at me

I know you're reading this and so I just thought you should know 
This ain't about you 
Or him
Or the her that was before you
At first 
I thought it was 
But thank God for therapy and the discovery that
It's about my own insecurities
You ain't add to them I already had them 
Now I'm moulting them like pigeon feathers
And that which are abraded won't be replaced 
My strength is so damn strong it hurts
I am a hell of a woman 
I don't even know 
How I'm still teaching these kids
And how I'm still building up these girls
Im lying 
I know exactly how 
It's cause my ability to lead don't come from the fractured glass heart that I gave so naively
My power comes straight from Spirit
Gifts preordained in this vessel that is my body 

And pardon me if I am confusing you beloved 
Writing you contradicts me saying
This ain't about you
But the fact is, I am a writer
And if I don't write it down, 
it ain't real.




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