Moulting

Just so you know

This ain't about you

At first

I thought it was

I couldn't get you out of my head

Seeing your pretty ass sitting on that bed

Taunting me 

Looking down at my legs and seeing the meat I don't have 

Close my eyes and there's your fingers over that cheap faux fur

Blonde tips and full lips

Looking at me

I know you're reading this and so I just thought you should know 

This ain't about you 

Or him

Or the her that was before you

At first 

I thought it was 

But thank God for therapy and the discovery that

It's about my own insecurities

You ain't add to them I already had them 

Now I'm moulting them like pigeon feathers

And that which are abraded won't be replaced 

My strength is so damn strong it hurts

I am a hell of a woman 

I don't even know 

How I'm still teaching these kids

And how I'm still building up these girls

Im lying 

I know exactly how 

It's cause my ability to lead don't come from the fractured glass heart that I gave so naively

My power comes straight from Spirit

Gifts preordained in this vessel that is my body 

And pardon me if I am confusing you beloved 

Writing you contradicts me saying

This ain't about you

But the fact is, I am a writer

And if I don't write it down, 

it ain't real.