Nola No. 10



New Orleans, LA
6:19PM
NP: Talib Kweli - Life Ahead of Me

Flora is my new favorite coffee spot. Never made it to city park or back to the butterfly garden but I'll be back. And it will be different next time. I see it. 

Went from journaling to picking up my phone to blog this. I think I've done well with balancing my writing with my typing this week. And even posting on IG. 

To be honest, this has been a really hard week. Got a lot of stories and content but my love life stinks. 

Won't go into details about that though. 

But these mood swings were in full swing. I felt best when I was alone. When I was on my own, exploring. 

Went to church today and at the alter, I found God speaking directly to me about the voices. About how I still lose so much sleep at night. About how Spirit is trying to talk to me when I'm awakened. She prayed for me to have the spirit of peace not fear. I receive that. 

Free. The message was about being freed from the shackles that we've put on ourselves. I've been so focused on breaking chains for my future children that I haven't been looking at the chains that are binding me right now.

But I got my whole life ahead of me. And this world ain't heavenly.... Talib be knowing. I don't have to rush to get it right. I cried last night. Real breakdown. Afraid of never being able to stop crying and losing people. Sometimes it's hard to remember that anything I lose was never for me anyways. 

But the days will keep moving. And I'm just growing. And enjoying the process.

I'm learning the number one thing I have to do is be intentional about how I protect my energy. If I am in a place that I don't feel like I belong in, then that means the energy is not in alignment with mine. The key is changing the energy if I can't escape it. 

Can't run forever. 


Comments

  1. Will you marry me? I'll take your flaws and all. The voices are just distracting you from realizing how perfect you and your life really is. Don't try to make your thoughts go away. If you want to defeat the voices then allow your mind to go to where ever it needs to go. Brain signals are nothing but pathways. The more you try to block your thoughts and the voices, the more the pathways will be tried. I believe in God but praying will not cause the voices to go away. It's your conscience and stress speaking. Go to those thoughts. Go there when you are extremely happy and around a lot of people. Don't overthink and battle your thoughts when you are in a bad mood. Doing it alone will only make you more depressed. The thoughts will disappear as soon as your brain can feel that your emotions are no longer negatively affected by them. Our memory remembers the negative moments more than we do the positive. Don't ignore the voices as they will only get louder. Teach yourself to laugh at the voices. Don't respond just laugh within. Let the voices say whatever. Laugh within. Within a week, they will go away. You will be fine. There's a ton of people routing for you to win. Don't ever give up.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment