When guys walk away from me, when things just don't work out, as hard as it is sometimes, I have to just let it go. if not for me, for my future children. I think about my children (that I don't have) in all that I do. I watch every man I interact with and I think, "Could you be a good father to my children?" Sometimes my discernment is blinded by my desire to end the loneliness but the Universe is stronger than my little weaknesses. 

I used to feel so defeated and unworthy of love when things would just fall apart, but the wiser me is truly grateful for it. The relationships didn't fall apart because something is wrong with me, they fell apart because those guys weren't the ones that were supposed to walk the long road with me. 

Now, I'm content with living and learning from each encounter with the men I have dealt with. And I won't settle just to quill my hormones and such. I'm interested in building a strong family. I want a husband that will be the root of such family with me. I want foundation, not foolery. I deserve it. And so do my future children, as well as those strong single mothers that came before me. They didn't work hard just for me to keep the cycle of broken and dysfunctional families going. 

Patience. I just need to keep working on my patience.