via Instagram 3.28.16

np: the miseducation of lauryn hill

the last videos don't show, first thing they said when i walked in, "yo' mama came 'round here last week and she was high off that stuff! smelled pissy and her skin was grey and muddy-like. couldn't wait for her to leave." they talked about her with an acquired numbness, one that only people who love addicts have learned to develop. 

i walked from Riverside to Broadway, embracing the brash winds, knowing there's a higher power doing a great work without the need of my help but when i got home, i felt the pain that i constantly mask around them when they bring her up. im not sure if i can begin to word this type of pain but in an effort not to let it trigger a low (like it has so many times in the past) i came home and put on one of my spiritual mothers, Lauryn Hill, and played my favorite song on repeat. im alright, now. im alright. 

crying over my mother is pointless. she likes who she is. 

please don't write no pity comments. trust me, i am strong and im not sharing for pity. im sharing because someone like me needs to know that Lauryn Hill is right, don't search outside of yourself for the answers. they are within you.

you define your own destiny.