Me Just Wants to Breathe


Too many people throw the term depression around like its that light to carry. 
It's not the same as grieving. 
Grieving ends. 
Depression doesn't stop. It allows you to experience highs but it doesn't leave you. 
It follows you. It's your shadow. 
You have to constantly work at staying ahead of it. You can't let it lead. 
This is why I mediate so much.
I stay to myself because I don't trust anybody. 
I feel more comfortable venting in therapy because the people closest to me don't always see me for who I really am. 
They see me for who they want me to be. 
For who I was when they met me.
I am many things but I am not the same person I was yesterday.  
I love to exchange energies with moon children because they are the most understanding of my need to create in isolation. 
I share my secrets with rain because it doesn't question my love for it based on my absence. It understands. It does the same inconsistent coming and going thing I do. 
Doesn't make it right but it works for me. For us. 
Does that make me a narcissist? 
Loving me and putting my needs first. 
Avoiding my triggers, at all cost.
I'm happiest when I can sit by myself and read. 
I am at peace when people aren't looking at me. 
I want to figure out who I am, when no one is around. 
I want to only permeate pure energy. 
I don't see things the way others do. 
I don't act the same way I did when I was 25. 
I don't like explaining 
I like teaching 
I need nothing
I need no one 
Expect for when I am trying to accomplish a task for the greater good.
I always wanted to get out of here. 
Go go up where no one can find me. 
Just paint all day. With my words.
So many people expect so much from Me. 
Me just wants to breathe. 




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