One for Me


Drowning in unhappiness but no one sees any of that
they all see the image of me that they want too see, and that's a fact
The smile that I sometimes fake, the laugh that I sometimes force
Trying to be well put together, because I'm their outlet or their source
See often times I'm being strong, but it's  for someone else
Not so often am I actually being strong, and its for myself
I love the feeling of relief someone else receives, from the things that I write
A answer to their problem, solution to their situation, that's the thing that I like
Not sure if right now unhappy, is the most accurate word to use
I'm more so stuck, lost, unsure, and a bit confused
Understand that I'm very happy with who I am, and who I'm learning to become
Yet at the same time I'm unhappy with where I am, and the feeling of being outdone
It's not like I'm in actual competition, with anyone else
In my head it seems as if the only competition, I have is with myself
Seeking to know in my life what exactly, is all worth it
Wanting to know exactly what's my life calling, what's my purpose
Being overwhelmed with the thought, and not having the answer to my own question 
Is one of the many things that often triggers, my very own depression
And sometimes these episodes last longer than others
Sometimes it's days, weeks, and months of feeling smothered
See there's a beauty in having to deal with your depression
With every episode I figure more out about myself, and find a hidden lesson 
Like ...

It's okay to not always be okay
When you can't answer your own questions, pray
You'll lose a piece of mind to find your peace at mind
You don't have to lie when someone asks are you okay and you respond, im fine
Be comfortable with who you are, in your very own skin
The ultimate happiness you can find in anyone, is the happiness from within
Sometimes you'll depend on others to be there, but you'll learn how to be on your own, and be your own best friend 
See sometimes when someone asks me how exactly is it that I'm feeling
It goes from extremely happy to unhappy, because I'm still a work in process a broken soul, that's daily steady healing




Comments

  1. Thank you for every post. I can't stop reading them. Very inspiring

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  2. Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

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  3. Wow. You summed up my current state in a nutshell. The key is being able to identify. Keep journeying queen, your honesty is beautiful!

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  4. This poem was written by Kori Giles find more of her writing on ihatekori.com

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