Midnight. Via IG 3.6.17


would never know how much i cry ... how dark my depression is... how loud the voices get... will never know 
because 
i.will.always.smile. 
i will not harm myself. 
i will overcome every battle with my mood swings every time me and the other side of me meet in the ring. 
i will love myself a little more for every morning that i can wake up from dreaming of ending it all the night before. 
i will love myself even more for pushing through my past and my regrets 
and my fears my anxiety
and self doubt.
I know now, more than yesterday that
I am enough. 
I am more than enough. 
I will always love my enoughness. 
I will always love myself more for getting help when I can't manage alone. 
I will always love myself for ignoring how embarrassing it is to let others see me so low, 
so weak, yet, so strong. 
I flaunt my transparency. 
I acknowledge  my bravery.
I stand firm in my will to free every woman that stands beside me as I free the little girl inside me. 
I will always find beauty deep down beneath the ugly demons. 
I will kill the pain they inflict by writing, painting, sleeping, laughing, traveling, and sitting ... Sometimes I just need to sit still and think and over think and over over think. 
I will love myself more for facing my pain not running from it. 
I will always love. myself. more.




Comments

  1. Thank You! Thank you! Thank you!
    This touched my soul...

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  2. You are a true REAL Blessing. I share MANY of your characteristics. Even being a Middle School Teacher. The depth of passion for the students and knowing I am here for the greater of Humanity and the Souls of others.
    I recently came to the realization that my spiritual being and my physical being must learn to co exist. The Heart KNOWS that the Spiritual being takes priority, but the HEAD wants the Physical/Flesh to be #1.
    Now just trying to live that in this World is the challenge. Most people dont understand a 'LIT' soul. It's like being a Spiritual Mirror. You show people themselves.
    There IS HOPE. Gotta prioritize the Peace and Passion.
    The Passion is needed to evoke awareness and change.
    The Peace is NEEDED to refuel, reflect and recharge. (for the next passionate episode/assighment)
    Must learn your limitations. When fuel/light is low, allow your Faith & Love to be a place holder, until your are rejuvenated to resume "The Work."
    Love your Light.
    Use IT and Protect IT.

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