when I got the call that you lost your apartment and have been forced to stay in a shelter I had no reaction no melt down no tears just numbed in motion as I walked home under salmon clouds and birdful trees and it was thundering and lightening but not raining and the words yo mama lost her 'partment she in a sheltah literally went in one ear and out of the other until I saw this picture of you from 1968 and it made me wonder what your life would be like today if crack never hit Harlem in the 80s and they said you said you was moving to Alabama and you didn't care if they took everything from you that you was getting to Alabama nobody could stop you and I wondered which one of the voices in your head moved from 2 to 3D making its way outside of you to lead a new life for you but I didn't feel bad that your demons were climbing out of you but this is different for me because before my own diagnoses everything that happened to you used to feel like it was happening to me too and I wanted to die without you with you  I used to but tonight I just kept walking and I kept wondering and then it dawned on me that your first born is in Alabama right now as I type this and I know he doesn't speak to you ever at all and hasn't spoken to you in years more than years so how coincidental is it that you want to leave everything behind and go there and be with your eldest son but it's too late