In the Harbor

He introduced us to her as his son. She smiled a bashful smile. Not that she appreciated the joke but that she didn't mind. 

It was my first time seeing her.

I tried not to look because I knew what was creeping up my spine. I knew it wouldn't go away once I fed it my attention. 

Breezes and subtle waves went by while we listened to D telling some politically incorrect jokes about something that I can't remember but we all laughed, always do. 

And then I saw her. With him. 
On the bench. 
As close as they could be. 
Smiling. Posing.

"Y'all need to get that picture." Photographers hate when a civilian suggests what they should shoot. Neither Reggie nor Devin budged. Though we were all seeing the same, we really weren't. For me, it was a moment. A moment I wish I could have. A moment I knew would have made her feel special. Maybe even special enough to stay clean, if not for the rest of her life, at least for as long as I am doing public speaking events that she can attend and be honored and respected by the guests as my mother and truly feel like she is the reason I am, despite her own disbelief that she is the reason I am. 

She never came to any thing I've done. My high school graduation was the last time she sat in an audience and let me see her from the stage. 

God. The beast left my spine and was in full control of my eyes in the flashing of the camera. I went from jealous to hurt and no one could see the ugliness underneath my X cap. I was crying.