What If I Be

what if i be myself? what if i let the world see more than my classroom? even more than my pain? what if they find out what I love? who I love? what if I start dancing more? what if cursed in my writing the way I do in real life? what if they knew why me and my ex didn’t work out? what if they asked me about my early twenties? what if i stopped being a robot? what if i never lost my mind? what if i never lived in Cuba? what if i never moved back to baltimore? what if i stop teaching and go to Harvard or Stanford? what if buy a ticket to India and never come back? what if i sit at my easel and paint all day and write all night? what if I open a bookstore? what if i never read the alchemist? what if ash never put me on to abraham hicks? what if i never went to Malibu with dave? what if never hear music again? what if couldn’t see flowers in full bloom? what if Alex never published words from a wanderer? what if I wasn’t me? what if I knew how to speak French? what if I never read bell hooks? what if i wasn’t black? what if i kept a list of all the people who hurt me? what if i never forgave myself first? what if i was a little more reserved? what if i knew how to keep people around for longer than a season? what if i wasn’t an introvert? what if i wasn’t so vulnerable? what if i wasn’t equally as private? what if I wasn’t a Gemini? what if I wasn’t born in Harlem? what if my granny never left the south? what if my father never left DR? what if he never left my mom? what if i ever met him? what if i get married and have a little girl that acts just like me? what if I move to Paris? what if I leave tomorrow? what if never read a book again? what if lose myself in the process of finding out who I am becoming? what if I stop growing? what if I stop trying and just be? what if i be...




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