Efflorescent Memoirs

Sunday, September 30th, 201811:07AMBrooklyn, NY
On the C with Meekz. Heading uptown to my granny’s. Suited in my baggy gray sweats, Meekz in her Nike yoga pants. We’re ready to work. Day two of decluttering the space that epitomizes a loss of love, on many levels. Won’t speak of that in this moment.The only aspect that makes the mentioning of this detail relevant is the fact that the people helping me through this are here because of the level of trust I have for them. I know certain parts of my life are safe with them. As vulnerable as I am with the world on social media, my friends still get way more than I give in blog and Instagram captions. I am grateful. 
Meekz has been one of my closest friends, since before I was able to truly define love, family, or friendship.
Little-known fact: my original groups of friends have never really shown me love via Instagram, for various reasons. I used to take it as cold and unsupportive, but I was never brave enough to question them about it, and …

There’s substance in my selfies: I looked up to “pretty” and “fly” girls when I was a kid. Had I seen them reading, I would’ve been a reader, too. I did see them all go to HBCUs — and so I was inspired to attend one, too. I wanted to be like them and they may or may not have known but as a young, relatable teacher in a 6-12, I am aware of what I represent to my teenage girls. The juniors and seniors at my school all read my blog and follow my social, they tell me they are proud of me when they see my accomplishments and they ask to borrow literature just so we can talk about the text together. That’s why I post my mirror pics and my books. The message is: you can say, “Yes, I think I’m cute and I’m smart as hell, too!”

Baltimore9:09 PM NP: Dunno — Mac Miller
What we speak on is what we become.  That’s why I stopped writing about the news.  Ignored it for as long as I could.  And believe me, after all I went through, ignoring it would’ve done me some good. 
What we speak on is what we love.  I can only always feel good if I remember this.  Space can’t be real if we are souls.  So we are. 
We speak what we be.  I is what I is.  Am what I am. 
Light. 

A year ago, I wrote an affirmation. Nothing more beautiful than seeing it go from a seed to a fully manifested bloom. I just paid off my Navient loan thanks to Instagram and Facebook lol this is not an AD— this is my gratitude for the recent ad opportunities that I have been afforded. When I wrote the affirmation I did not know how it would get done, I just knew I was going to do it. 
People say, social media is all drama and doesn’t pay the bills, tell them they are not using it right. And I don’t even like social media — y’all know this already; that is why I have an intern who does all of my posting and reads all of my messages. Otherwise, I would be distracted and annoyed by social media so much that I would delete all of my accounts. Empath problems lol ... but I can’t do that because I have a responsibility to share the teaching strategies and self-healing tools that I have learned throughout my journey. 
Anyways, I plan to have my fed loans paid off by the end of this school year…