Showing posts from December, 2018

7:32PM Bogota Bound

It was my fault. We sat in the Baja Fresh restaurant way too long after we ate because I was charging my phone and trying to download the new 21 Savage album. Only 15 minutes earlier he said, “Come on, let’s go. They board at 4:01...” I’m like, “No, look, it’s 4:12.” I showed him the email about the flight being delayed and added a little sauce, “See! I’m not new to this, I’m true to this!” He retreated to a defeated silence and we sat until 4:12.  When we g ot to G9 and it was empty. The screen said 4:12 but no one was there. No line of people, no booking agents. I thought, damn...they delayed our sh’t again! I sat cross from her at the charger bar and asked her if I could take a picture of her rings. She was mysteriously quiet . Simply beautiful, too. I wanted to tell her but I didn’t get to. I wanted to know her name but she didn’t say. Just as I was about to write a journal entry, inspired by her silver , Dah ran over to us.  “De’La, we missed it!” “We missed the flight?” “Yes!!!”

7:13 Reflecting on My Year of Reading

The book in my hand is one of the very first books I finished, on my own, as an adult, outside of what was required by college courses. This was only like 4 years ago. I already had 3 degrees, at this point, and had been teaching for 7 years, yet, I still did not see the value in independent reading. After “Where We Stand” a bell hooks classic, I finished The Fire Next Time, and then, I read Assata. She listed two books she read while incarcerated: Siddartha and Black Women in White America, so I read those, too. Angela Davis wrote the foreword to Assata’s book, so I read her autobiography, next. Then, Malcolm X’s because I found an OG copy of it while I was on sabbatical in Cuba. Then, Native Son, Giovanni’s Room, Kindred... and I before I knew it, I was a fiend for the high that came from what I call “smoking books” (super corny lol) ...I was guilty of going anywhere, from meetings to parties, being semi-rude and socially-introverted because I was more interested in reading my books

11:14AM Baltimore Bound

Feeling good.  So chill.  This weekend was fun.  Not even going to try to write about it.  But what I will say is my friends are my family. I have truly defined family for myself. Grateful for being able to grow alongside such strong and creative women. 

6:10PM Just ❤️

There’s so much bad in the world, I force myself to focus on the positive as my form of actism. I will not speak on negativity. I am not moved by trends and headlines. I have a one track mind: using literacy to help my students develop an positive inner image of themselves. That’s I can give  my energy to, currently. I didn’t publish any writing last night because I was depressed and turned my phone off and I felt better before I went to bed, I swear I wrote pages on pages —but they are just for me. It’s okay to create and not share everything. It’s actually more than okay, it’s love.  Nothing greater than love.  One of the things I wish I could talk about here, I won’t. It doesn’t only involve me, so I can really bring it up. It’s about a kid and for the record, I felt really depressed about what happened at first but then I let that go because I know I have to trust his process.  I won’t speak of my fears that I have for him because those have nothing to do with him. They are based

9:49PM — Undersharing is the Wave, Currently.

Reluctant to share selfies because of the commitment I made to myself about substance but I love these and my students told me to post all of them because “You just so beautiful.” and “Your energy back up this week...” Sidebar: I used to hate how they don’t use is and are in their sentences. I didn’t realize,  I actually do the same thing,  until my brother pointed it out the other day. Does it make me sound less educated? Who cares? I really don’t care. I know who I am. As much as I teach my students how to speak standard English, I also want them to be totally comfortable speaking like themselves. 

5:11PM on Calvert

I walked into the yoga center thinking I was going to end my membership since I haven’t gone in over a month but I decided to give it one more go. I can do this. Training myself to incorporate new habits is as hard as getting my pup to not pee on the floor, even though he knows he’s not supposed to. Sometimes he just can’t hold it. What if we had to hold our shit in until someone took us out? Do we do that to ourselves by not doing what we need to do? I know yoga is my release. I need to be there. After all, I did say I was going to use physical activity to replace my talk-therapy sessions. I needed to stop seeking validation from my therapist and get in tuned with my inner voice. This summer, I learned, yoga allows me to do that naturally.  9:47PM My nail lady made me green tea before I even asked her to. She didn’t get me out until it was almost 7. Then, I headed to yoga, to cancel my membership. I was already an hour late and I realized in that moment:  my intentions are healthy but