5:11PM on Calvert
I walked into the yoga center thinking I was going to end my membership since I haven’t gone in over a month but I decided to give it one more go. I can do this. Training myself to incorporate new habits is as hard as getting my pup to not pee on the floor, even though he knows he’s not supposed to. Sometimes he just can’t hold it. What if we had to hold our shit in until someone took us out? Do we do that to ourselves by not doing what we need to do? I know yoga is my release. I need to be there. After all, I did say I was going to use physical activity to replace my talk-therapy sessions. I needed to stop seeking validation from my therapist and get in tuned with my inner voice. This summer, I learned, yoga allows me to do that naturally.
My nail lady made me green tea before I even asked her to. She didn’t get me out until it was almost 7. Then, I headed to yoga, to cancel my membership. I was already an hour late and I realized in that moment: my intentions are healthy but wasting money on a monthly membership that I am not using is not going to keep me financially fit. I can do my yoga in the house. But I probably won’t, knowing me. I’ll just go to the gym in my building for my old 15 minutes of cardio a few mornings out of the week and 100 crunches before bed. Maybe play some yoga music and be intentional with my breaths.
Sounds healthy to me.
Being honest with myself is healthy enough.