100 days to get a morning routine that actually makes me love mornings now (unedited)

Yesterday, I reached my 100th day of mindfulness. 

Wanted to note the behavior changes that are the result of my dedication to meditating:

I’m rise from bed at 2AM. Shower and get dressed, and meditate. By 3:30AM, I’m sitting on the floor, under the reading lamp, annotating something motivational like, “Dare to Lead,” by Brene Brown. An hour later, I’m about to meditate again, this time in the form of journaling (in this case, blogging). By 4:45AM, I am starting my work—either doctoral readings or classroom lessons. 

This was not my thing, a few months ago, not even a few weeks ago! I could not do mornings, at all. It literally took me 100 days to find my new morning rhythm. And I honestly did not even realize I was going to hit that milestone on the first of the new year. When I started on September 24th, I was struggling with my first doctoral task. I felt like I could not concentrate for a long enough time to comprehend the readings. The time spent off tasks was impeding on my classroom responsibilities. It was starting to feel like I was drowning in my own desire to be better for myself and future generations. I turned to mindfulness to help me regain my focus. It did not come back over night. I had so many panic attacks and so many mornings when I just wanted to call out from work and hide from the world. I thought about dropping out of school or even quitting my job as an educator but I couldn’t go through with it. My dream school and my goals are stronger than my anxiety. Through meditating, for 100 days straight, I have been able to get my life together. I love my early mornings, now. I love getting things done and not feeling that looming feeling of not meeting expectations or letting someone down because I didn’t hold up my end of the job. 

I would be remiss if I did not admit, having a couple of weeks out of school was really helpful. I used those days to practice rising each morning, without my alarm. It was easier because I knew I always had the option of going back to sleep. Another thing that helped was not being on my phone for 7 days. It was nice to just quiet the world and focus on what I needed to focus on, for myself. 

....only downside to that is, now I have over 100 texts to respond to, since my phone was off since the 24th...