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Showing posts from April, 2020

5:17

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Me via text to a sister-friend:
You are a leader and you see all of us from a leadership perspective. Leaders are visionaries who see beyond where we are. Leaders see potential. You see each of our potential, even we do see or know what you see. Sometimes, when folks do not live up to their potential, it can feel frustrating but as a leader, adopt creative-compassion. Creative compassion allows you to create news ways to support a person through their struggle. Each attempt may take a different creative approach for it to work as a tool to help the person through their journey. Remember, it is your responsibility to continue developing ways for your team to grow toward that potential that you see in them because you were given the gift of sight to see them. Trust your gift. They will get there, never let your frustration stop you from creating innovative channels of support. I am proud of you for giving yourself the chance to continue strengthening your ability to grow the strengths of…

8:36

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I wrap my head to pay respect to Maya Angelou when I write, sometimes. 
I used to write a story every day back in 2016 and then I started reading Baldwin and I felt like less of a writer.  Then 2018 I lost all of my writing from my notes  That silenced my creativity 
Now I’m learning how to write like a researcher and it’s no fun but I know when I am able to start writing the way I did in 2016 it will be way more fire and Baldwin will be proud ...
Baldwin is one of my inner voices
I’ve been making lists of the voices in my head 
It’s helpful. 


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8:48

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last week I tried to post 7 videos and each time they failed to post ...still loading, still learning. True to self in my art. Defining self by collecting and analyzing theories. Learning not to judge anything without the theory —letting the researchers speak, not me. I am still learning. No credentials no credibility nothing but my heart and the will to be humble to the new lessons, daily. I’m growing into the heart I’ve always had. 
Big heart, no more talks about dreams just being.

2:04

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the reality is, i chose this....
i climbed to the next level 
i wanted to be here. 
When did you notice things  were not  what you thought  they would be?
when i saw how different my behaviors were from the others up here  from where i was, it looked easy from here, i see i need to vibrate higher  that takes more work and more intentionality  i have to change my behaviors, not just my mindset  actions breed reactions 

10:52

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I have the need to express but every time I speak, I invite voices into my head. The bigger the message, the louder the voices. How can one’s own voice be a self-disruption to their concentration? My job and my lifestyle require deep, critical thinking. I read, write, and teach all day for about 12-15 hours a day so I need my mind to be clear. Why am I doing this to myself?
This has become one of my self-growth questions and I have been setting time aside to answer it, daily. The more intentional I am, the more clarity and stability I gain. My signs of wellness are days when I have 8 hours of productivity with minimal breaks. I did well, yesterday. I want to continue building a healthy consistency. 
I believe this doctoral journey is leading me, spiritually, to read theories of the mind and multiple voices. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to understand myself, so that I may free myself, from myself. This is the same reason I am researching self-regulatory processes. I need mor…

7:26

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My biggest fear used to be failure. Now I am fearless.  I see all as good for me as long as I am good to me in the process. 




12:58

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It’s Spring. Tricky weather season.   Some trees’ limbs are green some are still naked. 
Life is in transition. 
People are beginning to notice their patterns.  Personally, I am loving the way I handle my emotions.  Passing every test I find myself facing (and I don’t mean my doctoral tests...because that’s the place I am not “exceeding standards” in, yet but I affirm: I am growing, daily. My ability to think critically while reading complex, theoretical texts is improving.) when I find myself standing in front of my reflection and listening to the lessons I see. 
How can one listen to something that is seen? When I watch a visualization, whether it has sound or not, I read it. I see everything as some form of literature. I am a reader of nature, I know a lot of people who see other things in the same way. 
People are not animals, so for me, as much as I may want to read people, I do not have that ability. I used to be very discerning, self-righteous, and rigid with my presumptions and belie…