11:59PM

Finally submitted my annotated bib! 

Submitted my RM1 last night, got the grade today, a solid 80 but it’s more about the feedback for me than the grade. Feedback says I’m getting closer but still need to work on narrowing my focus. This is such a process.

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Grateful

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....Few days after this post, I got my annotated bibliography grade. I earned a really high grade and strong feedback that shows me, I really can be a researcher. Yes, I needed the validation of my teacher because this was all very new for me. I am not far from the place where I can fully self-assess but I am getting there and I am not rushing. That was the hardest assignment ever. So glad I was able to show myself what I can do. There’s no more doubt about my brains. Any feelings of fear that arise as I continue my journey, I will grant them time to come and go. They will not be allowed to stay in my vision. 

I am learning more about the way my thoughts function. I know I can get beyond fear, even if depression and anxiety, chemically, try to take fear’s side in the battle over my ability to focus. 

I commit to simply reminding fear who always wins: Me. It’s not always that simple. Not at all. 

Sometimes, it takes days to rise again sometimes it takes minutes. I strive for the times when it takes just a few minutes. Those are the days I do the yoga and the breathing. I have kept count. I can only go 3 days without yoga and mindfulness a week. I’ve been testing myself out. 

I’m building my capacity to recognize and remove certain ideas that have been running around my head for too long. 

It’s currently the most important “work.” 

It probably the only one that will get me as far away from this place as I want to be.