7:16







Sometimes, I feel like I’m too old for this type of thing but other times I feel like silence is the solution. I need to be able to hear my thoughts. I’m still learning why my personal boundaries call for extreme walls such as blocking — but other times I’m like, what else was this feature created for, if not to use it to get some air from the sea of feeling emotionally drained? 

I know this is a deeply rooted issue. 
I am still learning where it comes from ...

Comments

  1. I can see why you “block”
    Maybe it’s a Gemini thing. I know I go through periods of “withdrawals” and I feel I have to have alone time like no matter who it is I shut off and log off for hours.
    Bc at times we are able to give so much of ourselves to others and their needs, it becomes overwhelming like your brain wants to explode.

    Not sure if your issue goes back to childhood. I know for me I didn’t have any control over anything as a child esp w how controlling my father was so I tend to get anxious whenever I feel I’m losing control.

    But not control over ppl necessarily, sometimes knowing that some ppl need so much from me, I.e attention, time, energy those things. But also my tasks, plans, or ideas if I get ahead of myself then I also feel like I need to shut down. Silence everything, everyone.

    At times, in my head if I ever feel like I’m rushing the idea before I’ve put it together I get overwhelmed then I feel my mental shutting down.

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  2. Thought I was the only one lol I got scorpio in my chart so its much needed. At first I use to be hard on myself like yo "thats mean", or "thats some asshole shit" or "im actim like a bitch" these are the things in my head that im thinking of myself when I would refrain from my loved ones when i needed my solitude esp my child (thats the most difficult) cause as a mom you dont wanna feel like you need a break from parenting bt thats nt the case. Like yall said we need a min to breathe. At times its overwhelming being so many titles "a wife, a mom, a daughter, granddaughter, a sister, a niece, a cousin, a bestfriend, a worker, and also find time for yoself in the midst of all the titles you carry?! We give most of our time to everyone else and give ourselves the minimum 15 mins at least?...lol thats crazy. Some might call it selfish or "mean." But I grew outta that shit lol cuz honestly i cant give u what u want or the energy, time, attention i want to give you if im not at my best. If i come half ass it does good for nobody. But like Drake said "Im spending time just takin care of me right now." Lol if yall read this check out Frank Ocean "Nights" if yall not hip already. But the song is dope and kinda similar to our feels. Thank yall 4 sharing. Helped me lift the guilt up off me. ��

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